Top Gear

If I was as confident in my ability of writing in the language you may have already recognized, as much as I am comfortable in speaking in it, I would do this more often.
But …
Since I am not, this occasions are rare.
Although I am pretty sure I will make less mistakes then the spelling champion of the state of Delaware for instance. Or not.
Some grammar nazi probably already found a half of dozen of them, someone else is googling the word ‘dozen’ so I will continue and try not to mind either of them.
»Get to it!«
Allright, allright, bare with me for another second will you.
The reason I’m writing this- and in English, is simple. I just turned the teli off, went to bed and tried to fall asleep. But can’t.
Because I feel like getting dressed and taking my boxy Meriva for a spin. But since it’s dark I won’t be able to enjoy the view through my semi clean window. So what’s the use really?
The urge will wear out by tommorow I’m sure, but right now I would just love to drive. In reasonable speed. With the soundtrack of ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ playing inside. Or ‘True blood’.
Tha’t what this show makes me feel like.
I have never been much of a car enthusiast but I just looooove Top gear!
There- that’s what I’ve been watching!
These three geezers who look like rejects from an auditon for the Pink Floyd are fucking fantastic!
To be honest I feel a bit less of a man when they talk about horse powers and all the other technical mumbo jumbo and that’s why it took me so long to start watching in the first place.
I thought it was going to be boring and dull. And it isn’t. At all.
It’s like watching a high budget porno film by Vivid or Hustler with these gorgeous, hot sexy,lucsious actresses geting fucked by Ron Jeremy.
Cause that’s exactly how it looks when they get behind of a wheel of an automobile I know I will never be able to.
They are Ron Jeremy- without the moustache. Doing all the kinky, nasty things I would do if I only had the chance.
Who wouldn’t want to race a…. Bugatti? Destroy a caravan? (Caravan- every time I hear that word, I think of Brad Pitt playing the role of the gipsy in that film by that director who use to be with Madonna- Guy Ritchie is it?)
Set Lancia on fire? Stage a bank robbery in Albania? Drive across the desert in a sports car? Make fun of Richard Hammond?
I know I would!
Hell, I’d even learn all the technical details about every single engine ever built in to a vehicle that has ever roamed the roads of this planet.
They probably have the best job in the world. Beside that guy who rubs oil into Sophie Vergara’s bottom.
When I first saw the show, I thought ‘There is no way, this is going to last!’
Little did I know that the programme has been running for years. Before Jeremy Clarkson went bald and Hammond was only a little … Well a lot younger.
Then I thought ‘the amount this costs to make, is probably near the amount my government is spending on education and health insurance.’
Sadly, I’m probably not mistaking.
If BBC manages to pay for it, I say why bloody not!
As long as they didn’t take the money that was meant for filming The league of gentleman, is fine with me.

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2 komentarja

  1. nimbuchaval

     /  junij 20, 2012

    Ohhh yeah! I finaly come across a fellow Top gear enthusiast! My grammar ain’t perfect either, but who gives a fuck…it’s this exquisit show that counts! I do have to mention that I started of a bit like you, with “WTF is this show?” And since I could only watch it on the telly waaay past my bed time, I just thought that it ain’t worth it. Ohoho, but little did I know what awaited for me as I once decided to see how a metrobus race looks like. I guess what gor me most (apart from the machinery) is the genuine drop dead english humor. Now I’m hooked. A tip…if you hadn’t already, do make an effort to watch how these three gezeers ride across Thailand (or is it China?) on motorbikes!

    Cheers mate 🙂

  2. It’s Vietnam you plonker! 😀
    And the ‘umor is the main fokin reason I watch. W’at’d ya think I watch for? To learn how fast the Stig can go?


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